Moms, Interrupted.

I had always been excited at the prospect of "launching" my kid into the world (be it college or whatever) to begin his life.  I'd also heard all the stories about how freeing it would be. About how photo credit: creativecommons.org much time I'd have to myself and all the hobbies I would be able to do now that I didn't have school field trips and choir concerts and school plays to attend. It sounded pretty cool... until it wasn't. During the month of his graduation, my kid informed me he would be moving a few hours away to live with his dad; a complete 180 degree turn from the plans we'd made together.  So yes, I was shocked and very disappointed, but as he was turning 18, there wasn't much I could do. So off he went. And there I was. You know, one of the benefits of your kids leaving the nest is that you have more quiet time to reflect. It also happens to be one of the downsides. That summer was rough. My husband also happened to be workin...

Sharing a guest post by my friend, Lisa. Her daughter, Lily lives with Rett Syndrome, a very rare condition that predominantly affects girls. This mom & daughter duo are real fighters! Have you participated in the Facebook challenge where you compare your first profile pic to your most current one?  My first picture was of Lily and me. In this picture she was 3 months old. We spent a little over a month in Hawaii swimming and walking all over the island of Oahu. Life was sublime. Little did I know then that our life was going to change in ways that I could not fathom. Lily was diagnosed with   Rett Syndrome   a severe neurological disorder that robs girls of their ability to walk, talk and have purposeful use of their hands along with a myriad of other challenges. Lily has always been a fighter. We almost lost her when I had to be rushed in for an emergency C-section. She wasn’t breathing and was in the NIC ICU for the first few days of her life.  H...

Seems everyone is doing the Marie Kondo "Does it bring you joy?" method of decluttering.  I read her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing  a few years ago and managed to get rid of a ton of clothes (6 garbage bags' worth!).  Full disclosure: I may or may not have kept up the habit of organizing my drawers and folding shirts in that cool Kondo way. Back when I was a "perfect" mom - ha! As I get older, I find I have to declutter my mind as well as my physical space. Decluttering my mind often comes in the form of doing away with the negative self-talk.  I swear that we moms are the hardest on ourselves.  When I'm having a bad day, that negative inner voice starts reminding me of all the mistakes I made as a mother; of all the times I was selfish, or lost my cool, or didn't live up to my own expectations of being a perfect mother.  If left unchecked, pretty soon my head is so full of the negativ...

I recently came across an item I purchased at a thrift store a few years ago. It was a small, antique-looking picture frame with with a saying on it that I liked.  For some reason, today, I thought I would look at the back of the print to see if there was a date on it.  As I was carefully prying off the cardboard & nails (this was clearly not a frame picked up at Michael's), I noticed some handwriting on the back of the print. It was a card written to a mother from a daughter, dated on a Friday the 19th in the year 1960. In the note, the daughter says she is enjoying some morning quiet time with God and her coffee, while she looks out over the lake. Here's just a portion of it: I got to thinking of you and of the many, many years you had prayed for us and I just had to stop for a moment to say 'Bless you' and thank you so very much. Of all the topics she could have been writing about, this happened to be about a mother praying for her children.  What a need...

I saw Tyler over Christmas (he lives in another state) and I knew I would cry when I did. Not only because I miss my kid, but because Tyler started the estrogen treatments last summer and I knew there might be some physical changes, as well as his wardrobe. I'm not going to lie - I did ask him to warn me if he was going to present fully as a woman so I could prepare myself. He agreed and arrived in a tone-down version of Katie. It was so good to see him, but so extremely painful. I noticed some physical changes, as well as the way he was dressed (which was more feminine). The only thing worse than trying to hold in a cry, is trying to do it in a house full of people.  I was at my dad's house, with my sister, niece, nephew, etc. We were just sitting down to eat, and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to get myself together.  Once the shock wore off, the rest of the day was great. If you look past the physical, he was the same kid we know...

"A good mama bear knows when to growl and when to grin." - Nancy Jergins  No matter how old your kids get, the urge to be a mama bear doesn't go away. I've just learned how to control her better.  For me, the trigger was always another kid making fun of Tyler.  Yes, I know getting teased is a normal part of childhood, but it made me want to grab the kid by the collar and put the fear of God in him.  Even now, when Tyler is almost 23 years old, if someone makes fun of him transitioning to a woman (particularly with how he looks), I feel mama bear getting riled up. Now, that doesn't mean I act on it. For me, controlling mama bear is a part of the process of separating from your child and letting them become an adult. Have you had any Mama Bear moments recently? The article linked below has some good tips, too! Author's Note: Article quote was taken from How to Be a Good Mama Bear  by Nancy Jergins. 

I'm currently listening to a book on Audible.com called Not Nice by Dr. Aziz Gazipura, Confidence Coach.  I've been the classic people pleaser for as long as I can remember, and now at 47 years old I'm ready to change that!  It's amazing how the desire to be seen as nice (and agreeable, non-confrontational) has really gotten in the way of me being my authentic self.  I can already see that this desire to "be nice" has affected my role as wife, co-worker, daughter and mom - and not in a good way. What books do you plan to read this year?

“Is there something you need to tell me?”     He said, “Yes, I’m transgender.” Those three words have changed my life forever. They also made things so clear. A distance had been growing between my son and I for a while. It started in May of 2014, when Tyler informed me that after graduation he was moving away to live near his dad, choosing not to attend a local community college as we had planned. The sudden decision (at least it appeared to be sudden) threw me for a loop and yes, I was mad. Why would he want to leave? I understood the desire to break away from your parents; having moved out myself when I was 19 years old. But we had made plans, and as far as I knew, he was good with them. Over the next few years Tyler would come home for visits, but there was still a distance between us. I just couldn’t pin point it, and spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. I finally chalked it up to the normal maturing process of separating oneself from their parents....