Moms, Interrupted.

  This is about as close to a political post as I'll get; and I'm only doing it in reference to a question that came up at one of the town halls.  A mother asked how this candidate would protect LGBTQ+ rights if he was elected. She was concerned because she has an 8-year-old child who is transgender.  Let that sink in: 8 years old.  What were you doing at 8 years old?  I was probably listening to Rick Springfield and pondering the latest Judy Blume book (yes, I just dated myself). Now before I go on, let me be clear about something. This post is not about shaming any parent who is struggling with these decisions. I've been a part of an online support group for parents of transgender kids and I have read some heart-wrenching posts of parents who just don't know what to do. They have underage kids (mostly teens) who are clearly unhappy and the parents are trying to decide how to help them. There is NO easy path on this journey and I won't judge any parent for deci...

So, we've all heard about a certain college admissions scam. The one where parents bribed and lied and actually made up fake profiles to get their kids into desirable colleges. Pretty gross, right? And the worst part is not that my image of Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky!) has forever been tarnished, but rather how she has hurt her daughters.  Apparently, her daughters didn't even want to go to college (oh the irony), but it was something that their parents wanted desperately.  If the news is to be believed, their parents wanted so badly for them to have that "college experience" that they were apparently willing to risk their careers, not to mention jail time. The expectations they had for them (in this case, anyway) were so far from what the daughters wanted for themselves.  Now, I don't know this family, so I'm playing arm-chair psychologist here. But it seems to me that the parents let their expectations blind them to reality.  Maybe it was too hard for th...

Took a big step today. I wrote a letter to my son and it was the first time I used his new name. I guess that's progress in the journey of acceptance, right?

One of the ways I see God walking with me in this journey is by the people He brings around me. Granted, I don't run into many parents in my situation in our local coffee shop, but I did find a social media group full of them. Parents going through the same experience. I read their posts and comments and realize they are feeling the same emotions as me. Struggling with the same conflicts. And it's comforting.  Feeling alone when dealing with a traumatic event is the worst.  But I am not alone. And you are not alone. Here's just a sample of the healing words I get the privilege to read: "I am at a loss. I guess I’m still processing everything and my own emotions as well." "I go back and forth some days, wanting to hide my head." "I don't have any answers, only wishes and prayers." "Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right  things . I know it's not about me." ...and then: "I am blessed to h...

I had always been excited at the prospect of "launching" my kid into the world (be it college or whatever) to begin his life.  I'd also heard all the stories about how freeing it would be. About how photo credit: creativecommons.org much time I'd have to myself and all the hobbies I would be able to do now that I didn't have school field trips and choir concerts and school plays to attend. It sounded pretty cool... until it wasn't. During the month of his graduation, my kid informed me he would be moving a few hours away to live with his dad; a complete 180 degree turn from the plans we'd made together.  So yes, I was shocked and very disappointed, but as he was turning 18, there wasn't much I could do. So off he went. And there I was. You know, one of the benefits of your kids leaving the nest is that you have more quiet time to reflect. It also happens to be one of the downsides. That summer was rough. My husband also happened to be workin...

Sharing a guest post by my friend, Lisa. Her daughter, Lily lives with Rett Syndrome, a very rare condition that predominantly affects girls. This mom & daughter duo are real fighters! Have you participated in the Facebook challenge where you compare your first profile pic to your most current one?  My first picture was of Lily and me. In this picture she was 3 months old. We spent a little over a month in Hawaii swimming and walking all over the island of Oahu. Life was sublime. Little did I know then that our life was going to change in ways that I could not fathom. Lily was diagnosed with   Rett Syndrome   a severe neurological disorder that robs girls of their ability to walk, talk and have purposeful use of their hands along with a myriad of other challenges. Lily has always been a fighter. We almost lost her when I had to be rushed in for an emergency C-section. She wasn’t breathing and was in the NIC ICU for the first few days of her life.  H...

Seems everyone is doing the Marie Kondo "Does it bring you joy?" method of decluttering.  I read her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing  a few years ago and managed to get rid of a ton of clothes (6 garbage bags' worth!).  Full disclosure: I may or may not have kept up the habit of organizing my drawers and folding shirts in that cool Kondo way. Back when I was a "perfect" mom - ha! As I get older, I find I have to declutter my mind as well as my physical space. Decluttering my mind often comes in the form of doing away with the negative self-talk.  I swear that we moms are the hardest on ourselves.  When I'm having a bad day, that negative inner voice starts reminding me of all the mistakes I made as a mother; of all the times I was selfish, or lost my cool, or didn't live up to my own expectations of being a perfect mother.  If left unchecked, pretty soon my head is so full of the negativ...

I recently came across an item I purchased at a thrift store a few years ago. It was a small, antique-looking picture frame with with a saying on it that I liked.  For some reason, today, I thought I would look at the back of the print to see if there was a date on it.  As I was carefully prying off the cardboard & nails (this was clearly not a frame picked up at Michael's), I noticed some handwriting on the back of the print. It was a card written to a mother from a daughter, dated on a Friday the 19th in the year 1960. In the note, the daughter says she is enjoying some morning quiet time with God and her coffee, while she looks out over the lake. Here's just a portion of it: I got to thinking of you and of the many, many years you had prayed for us and I just had to stop for a moment to say 'Bless you' and thank you so very much. Of all the topics she could have been writing about, this happened to be about a mother praying for her children.  What a need...

"A good mama bear knows when to growl and when to grin." - Nancy Jergins  No matter how old your kids get, the urge to be a mama bear doesn't go away. I've just learned how to control her better.  For me, the trigger was always another kid making fun of Tyler.  Yes, I know getting teased is a normal part of childhood, but it made me want to grab the kid by the collar and put the fear of God in him.  Even now, when Tyler is almost 23 years old, if someone makes fun of him transitioning to a woman (particularly with how he looks), I feel mama bear getting riled up. Now, that doesn't mean I act on it. For me, controlling mama bear is a part of the process of separating from your child and letting them become an adult. Have you had any Mama Bear moments recently? The article linked below has some good tips, too! Author's Note: Article quote was taken from How to Be a Good Mama Bear  by Nancy Jergins.