Moms, Interrupted.

So, we've all heard about a certain college admissions scam. The one where parents bribed and lied and actually made up fake profiles to get their kids into desirable colleges. Pretty gross, right? And the worst part is not that my image of Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky!) has forever been tarnished, but rather how she has hurt her daughters.  Apparently, her daughters didn't even want to go to college (oh the irony), but it was something that their parents wanted desperately.  If the news is to be believed, their parents wanted so badly for them to have that "college experience" that they were apparently willing to risk their careers, not to mention jail time. The expectations they had for them (in this case, anyway) were so far from what the daughters wanted for themselves.  Now, I don't know this family, so I'm playing arm-chair psychologist here. But it seems to me that the parents let their expectations blind them to reality.  Maybe it was too hard for th...

Took a big step today. I wrote a letter to my son and it was the first time I used his new name. I guess that's progress in the journey of acceptance, right?

One of the ways I see God walking with me in this journey is by the people He brings around me. Granted, I don't run into many parents in my situation in our local coffee shop, but I did find a social media group full of them. Parents going through the same experience. I read their posts and comments and realize they are feeling the same emotions as me. Struggling with the same conflicts. And it's comforting.  Feeling alone when dealing with a traumatic event is the worst.  But I am not alone. And you are not alone. Here's just a sample of the healing words I get the privilege to read: "I am at a loss. I guess I’m still processing everything and my own emotions as well." "I go back and forth some days, wanting to hide my head." "I don't have any answers, only wishes and prayers." "Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right  things . I know it's not about me." ...and then: "I am blessed to h...

I had always been excited at the prospect of "launching" my kid into the world (be it college or whatever) to begin his life.  I'd also heard all the stories about how freeing it would be. About how photo credit: creativecommons.org much time I'd have to myself and all the hobbies I would be able to do now that I didn't have school field trips and choir concerts and school plays to attend. It sounded pretty cool... until it wasn't. During the month of his graduation, my kid informed me he would be moving a few hours away to live with his dad; a complete 180 degree turn from the plans we'd made together.  So yes, I was shocked and very disappointed, but as he was turning 18, there wasn't much I could do. So off he went. And there I was. You know, one of the benefits of your kids leaving the nest is that you have more quiet time to reflect. It also happens to be one of the downsides. That summer was rough. My husband also happened to be workin...

I saw Tyler over Christmas (he lives in another state) and I knew I would cry when I did. Not only because I miss my kid, but because Tyler started the estrogen treatments last summer and I knew there might be some physical changes, as well as his wardrobe. I'm not going to lie - I did ask him to warn me if he was going to present fully as a woman so I could prepare myself. He agreed and arrived in a tone-down version of Katie. It was so good to see him, but so extremely painful. I noticed some physical changes, as well as the way he was dressed (which was more feminine). The only thing worse than trying to hold in a cry, is trying to do it in a house full of people.  I was at my dad's house, with my sister, niece, nephew, etc. We were just sitting down to eat, and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to get myself together.  Once the shock wore off, the rest of the day was great. If you look past the physical, he was the same kid we know...

“Is there something you need to tell me?”     He said, “Yes, I’m transgender.” Those three words have changed my life forever. They also made things so clear. A distance had been growing between my son and I for a while. It started in May of 2014, when Tyler informed me that after graduation he was moving away to live near his dad, choosing not to attend a local community college as we had planned. The sudden decision (at least it appeared to be sudden) threw me for a loop and yes, I was mad. Why would he want to leave? I understood the desire to break away from your parents; having moved out myself when I was 19 years old. But we had made plans, and as far as I knew, he was good with them. Over the next few years Tyler would come home for visits, but there was still a distance between us. I just couldn’t pin point it, and spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. I finally chalked it up to the normal maturing process of separating oneself from their parents....